I Don't Eat Spiders!

So, Halloween is a big event around our household. Even before Aethan was born I spent days decorating the house and throwing parties.

Last year, Aethan went Trick-Or-Treating for the first time and it lasted about 3 houses. The first couple he knocked on the door and then gave his candy to the people passing out the candy! The third house he was so scared of the weiner dog that lived there, he had enough.

This year he is so excited! Going to school and seeing all his little friends get ready for Halloween has really gotten him in to it and he bounded out of bed this morning, ready to put on his Thomas the Train Costume.

The other day when he came home from school he went over to some of the decorations, took some fake spiders and then asked me for a plate. He sat down at the dinner table with the spiders in front of him and then proceeded to smile and exclaim "I Don't Eat Spiders!" A pause or two later he then said "I need caterpillars!" The complete sentences were such a shock that I just stood there and smiled for several minutes. The next day he found some fake eyeballs and told me he didn't eat them either.

A-E-T-H-A-N

So, Aethan's been in school less than a month. Every day he comes home with a smiley face, a virtually empty lunchbox, he eats his dinner and sleeps through the night. Pre-school has created such a wonderful avenue for Aethan to learn and improve his skills. He knows sign language for at least 20 words including flower, tree, ball, book and refrigerator. He knows how to count, all his colors and more animals than ever! The other day My mom and I were sitting on the living room floor of her house with a bunch of letter flashcards and out of nowhere he picked up the letters to his name, put them in order and very matter-of-factly said "A-E-T-H-A-N." He had such a huge grin after that and does it on command every day now. He also recognizes his middle and last name and if you ask him where he lives he says "Farmbrook Road!" I love this. New things every day that just make my heart warm with pride.

Red Harold Enedocker

Grandad wanted to do something special in celebration of Aethan's first week of school, so we went to Orlando and Aethan got to ride on a helicopter! Since every helicopter is "Harold" from Thomas the Tank Engine and he pronounces Helicopter as Enidocker, he's been showing everyone his pictures of "Red Harold Enedocker."

Let's Go To School

I think every parent freaks out a little bit when they drop their kid off to pre-school or daycare the first time, but I have to admit I was a little consumed by the fact that I was sending my 3 year old boy, autistic, difficult to understand, stubborn and not even beginning to potty-train. Aethan suprised me in so many ways. He was so excited as he pointed out the school busses and wore his "Thomas the Tank Engine" backpack proudly. As soon as I took him in to his classroom (ESE Pre-K at the Elementary School) he put his backpack down, went towards where the other kids were playing and waved his little hand accompanied by a "Bye Mommy!" It felt so strange leaving him at a place he would now spend close to 30 hours a week, but the smile on his face gave me great ease. He's been going a week now and we only had one rough morning (which was because he wanted to where his pajamas to school.) I get so many good comments and already so many firsts! The first weekend he carried around his artwork from school, finding every available moment to show me his pictures. I'm so proud of him! The say autistic kids don't handle transission well, but I've never experienced a smoother one!

An Animal a Week

The wondrous transition in to creative play.. Aethan has been choosing animals to "be." Last week it was a puppy. He would get down on all fours, pant, bark and even lean down in front of you and say "you can pet him!" Although he still does not say "I" "I am" or "My" and "I'm a puppy" came out "you're a puppy," it was still a joyous thing to watch. This week Aethan is a penguin. He's been watching "March of the Penguins," and now he waddles, scoots on his belly, gets between my legs and makes a very strange half-cry half-goat sound that apparantly comes from the penguins. He's also used his new penguin status to avoid eating certain foods. This seems so small and trivial to those with nuero-typical 3 year olds, but to someone with autism this is a very big step in a good direction.

Montana and back

Aethan went to Montana last week with his Daddy to visit his paternal grandparents and family. It was very difficult to let him go without the ability to explain to him what was going on. Luckily, his facination with vehicles, made it easy to get him excited at 4:30 in the morning about the airplane. He was fantastic the whole trip..even walked down the aisle as a ring bearer in his aunt Trish's wedding. He got a fever during the trip, as he usually does when he leaves Florida, but all in all the 10 days away from home was an enjoyable experience for him and his Dad's side of the family.

It was definately difficult for me to be without him for that long 3000 miles away, but the most difficult thing was when he came back. I drove to the airport to pick him up, not expecting too much of a reuinion. But when his Daddy tried to transfer him from his arms to mine, he screamed and wriggled as if someone was trying to hurt him. I took him anyway, trying not to show to much heartbreak as I handed him a Thomas the Tank Engine juice cup and carried him through the airport.

That night Aethan was extremely quiet and didn't seem to want to have much to do with me or the rest of the household. It was as if this was a completely foreign situation to him. Over the next few days I realized that he had lost a lot of the words and skills that I had worked months on, but had gained the useful phrase "no thank you," wich he used for everything.

It took a while for Aethan to adjust back to his normal routines, but after 5 days everything seems to be back on track again. He hasn't returned yet to calling me Mommy, but he's calling everyone else by name and eating most of the things he was eating before he left.

I'm glad that it will be a long time before I have to let him go for that long, but I'm happy he was able to have the experience with no incidents and a basically easy transition.

A path is shown

I had Aethan half way through acupuncture school. With all the amazing Chinese doctors and students around, I was in the best place I could possibly be. I delivered my nine pound little boy without the assistance of any drugs.. just Acupuncture and a room full of loving people.



He was a normal baby... sat up, crawled and ate solid foods just like the books said he should. Everyone was still telling me everything was fine when he didn't learn to walk until 18 months.



As he approached two, he learned a couple of words- duck, cat, sit. No Daddy or Mommy, but I thought it would come in time. As he reached two , more words didn't come and the words he was saying started to fade. He started to watch movies alot. Since Aethan was my first child I didn't realize that most kids don't watch entire movies.



I started to become hopeful when Aethan started talking a little bit. But he didn't ask me for things or tell me what he was interested in. He was copying the the dialogue from the movies he was watching. Word for word. Everyone around me thought it was cute, but I was getting concerned. Other things started to appear around me as well. He had four stuffed animals that he had to carry everywhere and screamed as though someone was hurting him whenever someone took one. He wouldn't allow anyone in his space and he would only eat 4 or five different foods- none of the on the same plate at the same time. He hadn't slept all the way through the night yet either.



I invited several kids of parents I knew to Aethan's 2nd birthday, but he didn't even seem to notice anyone was there. And as the day wore on, the people seemd to make him more and more agitated as he tried to escape in to his comfortable place all his own.



That was in January 2006. In March of that year I moved in to a new apartment. I was thrilled when I saw that our next door neighbors had a little girl just a month older than Aethan. Aethan finnally started sleeping all the way through the night. But he wouldn't get out of bed when he woke up. He just started babbling to himself and waited for me to come get him.



Throughout the next few months, Aethan learned to ask for his juice cup. It wasn't really in words, but he had done it enough times that I knew what he was saying. He also started to become really interested in trains. He built train tracks from room to room and played with them for hours. He wouldn't even let anyone touch them.



Aethan was such a pleasurable easy kid, it was hard to think anything might be wrong with him. I could take him anywhere. At restaurants he would spend the whole time taking sugar packets in and out of the container and in the car he would immitate the sounds from the vehicle and stare out the window. He was loving and innocent. no arguments, no intentional mean streaks, no "terrible twos." The only argument we ever had was letting go of his clan of stuffed toys so that he could make it down the 4 flights of stared unscarred.

The little girl across the street started speaking in full sentences and having full ocnversations. Aethan didn't. He still hadn't even said Mommy. He was now 2 1/2. I started to worry.

By now I had started my acupuncture practice and was really up to date on all the latest medical information. I new about the rising autism epidemic and quite a lot of what the symptoms were. As I sifted through information and checklists and tests on my computer, I tried to hide the tears streaming uncontrollably down my face. Aethan had 18 out of 20 signs of autism. Everything I had ever wanted for my son went in a hole in the back of my mind. Fear and heartbreak came over me like nothing I had ever experienced. It felt like someone had died. I spent the next few days until his pediatrician appointment holding on to him tight and laying in his bed crying. I couldn't see the silver lining. I couldn't see how anything good could come of this. I did everything right. I breastfed, fed him organic vegetables, never even gave him antibiotics. What could I have done?

The pediatrician right away suggested autism. She wasn't able to diagnose him, but she suggested some people and that it might be a good idea to get health insurance.

It took months for my insurance to go through. During that time,I took things in to my own hands. I took Aethan off of every food containing glutein or cassein, which isn't easy to do with a kid that only eats 6 things. I changed his yougurt to soy, his pasta to rice pasta and the rest fruits and vegetables. I had to take his food everywhere with me. He became obsessed with Thomas the train.

Aethan's vocabulary started to increase at lightning speed. Everything was a noun or a name. He didn't ask for things or tell you a story, but he could point out and say the name of every animal at the zoo.

Jaiden is Vince's 5 year old son and Aethan's hero. The more time Jaiden spends around Aethan, the more Aethan learns. He knows which ones are the bad guys now.

In March of this past year, we moved in to a house. As soon as we were settled, I decided it was time to take Aethan to the elementary school so that he can start pre-school. Also to the psychologist.

The school did a bunch of rating scale tests and observations. We drove several times an hour away to the developmental psychologist. After a few months and a bunch of paperwork, I found out officially what I already knew- Aethan was diagnosed with Autism in June at 3 1/2 years old.

He will start pre-school in August. He doesn't understand me when I tell him that, but when he sees a school bus he yells excitedely "school bus!"

He says "Hi Mommy" and "Bye Mommy." along with about 1000 other words, mostly nouns or names of things. He now asks for specific foods with one 2-3 word sentences like " I need broccolli." He tells crying babies "It's o.k" and tucks his stuffed animals (3 now) in to bed, telling them "good night."

He still will not answer any questions if you ask him and his family are really the only ones who understand most of his words. He's starting to throw "temper tantrums" when he doesn't want to eat his dinner or take his bath.

Everytime I look at him I remember the simple joy. All it takes for him is a quick drive over the train tracks and he is in heaven. He loves to laugh. He gives everyone kisses. He doesn't look at you when you are talking to him, but if you mention anything about trains, he will love you forever.